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The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was, is lost, for none now live who remember it.

To paraphrase it, once upon a time there lived a guy named Sauron. He called himself Lord Sauron, that pomp.

Like all evil guys, he lived in a dark, lava-boiling place called Mount Doom in Mordor, of course, dreaming of the world domination.

Seeing that Middle-earth is a small world, I can't help but question Mr. Sauron's ability as an all-powerful warlord. He would be blown away by all that land mass Alexander the Great conquered.

Being a blacksmith on the side, one day he forged 20 rings and gave them freely to elves, men, and dwarves. But he kept the best one for himself. what a perfidy!

With underlings as ugly (or why would he wear a iron mask?)...

He waged a war against men and elves.

Like all other villains, he lost and inadvertently became the origin of Jack o' lantern.

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and half thousand years the Ring passed out of all knowledge...

...until this guy came along. Frodo the Hobbit.

For his uncle Bilbo Baggins found the Ring, seen here smoking weeds with his friend Gandalf the wizard, which are obviously more fun than our own cannabis.

For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

According to Gandalf, A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to. Gandalf likes being a giant among the hobbits.

Bilbo is obviously obsessed with round shapes. No wonder he likes the Ring. It is mine...my own...my...precious

In Middle-earth, 'my precious' is such an uncommon phrase that Gandalf goes to Isengard to seek the meaning.

The Ring of Power perceived its time had now come.

and wants to be found by its master Mr. Sauron, who sends 9 wraiths to the Shire.

Touch luck. As he leaves the Shire, Frodo's adventure begins.

Gandalf seeks counsel from Saruman, the older and wiser man of his order.

I don't know what Saru means, but it sounds close enough to Sauron that it's a giveaway. How could Gandalf miss that?

Meanwhile, Frodo tries the Ring,

Which gives him some psychedelic ride.

The wraiths find the hobbits, whose company multiplies like rabbits.

Beneath troll-turned-stones, Aragorn and Co. look for weeds.

Instead they Aragorn's girlfriend, Arwen there whatever she was doing.

If this elvish lady were any less pretty, Frodo would have become a wraith like them for he barely made it.

Too bad Frodo can't enjoy this.

I don't know. If I were holding a wizard captive, I wouldn't have had him out in the open. But that's just me.

Rivendell, home of the immortal elves.

It seems to me immortality is wasted on elves. If I were immortal and lived for thousands of years, I'd have made time machine, space ship, and all the cool stuffs. But obviously these elves haven't taken the full advantage of immortality. They don't even have internet!

Which is even less excusable considering their magic abilities.

So it's no wonder Arwen would be so ready to give up immortality for love though I'm not sure how that works. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.